Bad Jokes

I have a lot of power right now. I could write anything. Including my assignment that I'm currently avoiding. I should probably just get on to that. Thing is though, that I tend to leave things to the last minute - hence one of my previous posts.

Currently I am trying to think of hilarious things to say.

Spoon is a funny word!

That wasn't really what I was going for.

Quick - think of a pun!

Someone said something about pizza - lets run with that. There's not mushroom to work with this. In fact, these are SUPREMEly bad jokes. Yep. That's it.



Why do I even try?

The Sad Volcano

There once was a volcano with an emotional disorder.

When she felt down, she would build up her lava inside, press it all down deep to put on a strong front.

But every so often it would burst out, hurting the people she loved.

She hated hurting the people she loved, so would bottle everything up again, leading to the same result.

I guess you could say it was a viscous cycle.

Hahahahahaha

To All Who Wanted to Know

Today I was educated by a male of such awesome manliness, I shall never forget his lesson.

He taught me how to look cool whilst driving a crappy Vauxhall.

Step 1 - Cut a hole in a box Grow a beard

Step 2 - Put your junk in that box Wear a contrasting shirt to make your facial hair 'pop'.

Step 3 - Make her open the box Put your arm out the window and stroke your beard in a wise way, whilst speeding.

And that's the way you do it, a prick in a Vaux!

Greetings!

I just stole that salutation from my flatmate. I am wont to do that at times.

I have some rules here to make life so much more enjoyable for everyone! You should acknowledge them and weave them into your daily lives.

1) If you're mad at someone, imagine them with a mustache. Poof! Problem solved.

2) Sometimes, singing at the top of your lungs is really the best thing you can do. Liberate yourself.

3) Take off all your clothes. (This will really only be beneficial to me, knowing that someone, somewhere is taking off their clothes *creepy wink*)

4) Throw fruit/veges off of a high platform just to see them splat on the ground.

5) Make up hilarious puns and bring them out often. (Hilariousness may be subjective).

6) Laugh at your own jokes.

7) In fact, don't even bother to share the aforementioned puns with anyone. Just laugh at them yourself. Marvel at your own brilliant wit! You're a chameleon!

Yep. Hilarity.