I Invented a Game

I call it Sleazeball Bingo(C).

What you need to do is,

1) Open up facebook

2) Randomly search up a member of the opposite sex that you DON’T know

3) Friend request them

Now if they add you as a friend, you have found a sleazeball! Shout BINGO! loudly and brag to all your friends, you're a winner!

PS My fingers always get excited when I type in all caps, it’s like they know I’m about to say something excited and they get all wriggly - hence when i was typing out BINGO I managed to type both BOING and BONGO before I got it right. Sigh.

PPS You could shout either of the aforementioned spelling mistakes instead to add a new twist to the game, if you liked :)

To All Who Wanted to Know

Today I was educated by a male of such awesome manliness, I shall never forget his lesson.

He taught me how to look cool whilst driving a crappy Vauxhall.

Step 1 - Cut a hole in a box Grow a beard

Step 2 - Put your junk in that box Wear a contrasting shirt to make your facial hair 'pop'.

Step 3 - Make her open the box Put your arm out the window and stroke your beard in a wise way, whilst speeding.

And that's the way you do it, a prick in a Vaux!

Greetings!

I just stole that salutation from my flatmate. I am wont to do that at times.

I have some rules here to make life so much more enjoyable for everyone! You should acknowledge them and weave them into your daily lives.

1) If you're mad at someone, imagine them with a mustache. Poof! Problem solved.

2) Sometimes, singing at the top of your lungs is really the best thing you can do. Liberate yourself.

3) Take off all your clothes. (This will really only be beneficial to me, knowing that someone, somewhere is taking off their clothes *creepy wink*)

4) Throw fruit/veges off of a high platform just to see them splat on the ground.

5) Make up hilarious puns and bring them out often. (Hilariousness may be subjective).

6) Laugh at your own jokes.

7) In fact, don't even bother to share the aforementioned puns with anyone. Just laugh at them yourself. Marvel at your own brilliant wit! You're a chameleon!

Yep. Hilarity.